《罗马帝国衰亡史（第三卷）》书评

糟糕的翻译

在当当网购买了一套吉林出版社出版的《罗马帝国衰亡史》，席代岳翻译，原价480元，当当网5.5折，266元。昨晚随手翻翻，发现译文糟糕透顶，现在后悔不迭。不久前买过吉林出版社出版的马内阿的《论小丑 : 独裁者和艺术家》，非常欣赏，误以为该出版社是新秀，有些眼光；仔细浏览了当当网上对《罗马》的评论，发现好评如潮，大多数人特地提到什么“译文流畅典雅”等等；又错误地相信台湾人的治学态度比我们要严谨些，不会胡乱翻译经典；结果是，如今看见书架上这套大部头胡言乱语，显然是鸡肋一根，只有苦笑不得。 席代岳译文的典型缺陷是主谓宾不分，长句中人物、主次和因果关系混乱，原因恐怕是他弄不懂英文从句对主语/名词的修饰关系，即使弄懂了，也不知道如何把它们译成通顺的中文。举例如下：“萨拉森人在“欧洲之柱”或“欧洲之岬”登陆，后来以讹传讹成为耳熟能详的名字直布罗陀。” （第5卷，P253）。这里原义显然是“欧洲之柱”后来名叫“直布罗陀”，但是按照他这样翻译，读者会以为“萨拉森人……成为名字直布罗陀”。 “阿拉伯部族的归顺加强默罕默德的权势，集结一万士兵用来征服麦加，偶像崇拜者处于弱势的一方，很容易安上破坏停战协议的罪名。”（第5卷，P164）。这里的主语应该是“归顺”，谓语是“加强”，那么“集结”这个动词的主语在哪里呢？“偶像崇拜者……很容易安上”：主动、被动语态不分。原文：The power of Mahomet was increased by the submission of the Arabian tribes; ten thousand soldiers were assembled for the conquest of Mecca; and the idolaters, the weaker party, were easily convicted of violating the truce. “他们在毫无准备之下进入霍纳因山谷，两边的高地被塔耶夫联军的弓箭手和投石手占领，在兵力劣势、军纪混乱和士气涣散的状况下，古莱西人看到穆斯林即将遭到歼灭的命运，不禁喜笑颜开。”（第5卷，P166）在这个长句中，是谁“兵力劣势、军纪混乱和士气涣散”？原文：They descended without precaution into the valley of Honain: the heights had been occupied by the archers and slingers of the confederates; their numbers were oppressed, their discipline was confounded, their courage was appalled, and the Koreish smiled at their impending destruction. “默罕默德愿意把自由赐给塔耶夫的奴隶，显然没有收到期望的效果，把果树全部砍倒也违背自己所制定的法律。他要矿工从地面开挖坑道，好让部队从缺口发起攻击。围攻作战进行二十天以后，先知发出撤收的信号，退兵时却唱着胜利的赞美歌曲，为这个不信真主的城市，装模作样的祈祷它能彻底悔改和获得安全。”这个长句中的因果关系混乱，甚至还有误译。原文：But it was in vain that he offered freedom to the slaves of Tayef; that he violated his own laws by the extirpation of the fruit-trees; that the ground was opened by the miners; that the breach was assaulted by the troops. After a siege of twenty-days, the prophet sounded a retreat; but he retreated with a song of devout triumph, and affected to pray for the repentance and safety of the unbelieving city.“默罕默德到六十三岁那年，体力还能应付世俗和宗教使命所带来的辛劳。癫痫病的发作会让人产生同情并不会引起厌恶，有关这个传闻完全是希腊人恶意的诽谤。但是一位犹太妇女为了报复而在卡伊巴对他下毒，倒是让他信以为真。”（第5卷P169）“有关这个传闻”：什么传闻？“倒是让他信以为真”：对什么信以为真？原文：Till the age of sixty-three years, the strength of Mahomet was equal to the temporal and spiritual fatigues of his mission. His epileptic fits, an absurd calumny of the Greeks, would be an object of pity rather than abhorrence; but he seriously believed that he was poisoned at Chaibar by the revenge of a Jewish female.文法混乱比比皆是，译成这样，真是糟蹋名著，如果吉本的英文如此粗糙，还能流传至今？也有人说译者花了几十年时间完成了一项极为艰巨的任务，值得称赞。但是翻译得极差，能叫“完成任务”吗？有人说他的文辞典雅，我看其实是吉本的文辞典雅，用金山译霸倒腾一遍，估计也有这样的效果。这样的译文，如果卖10元一本，随便看看消遣也罢。实在不值得收藏。